Stiffened fingers

Giggle wrote today ...

WOW, I finally got the music scores for Pachabel's Canon in D - thanks to one of my student who knew that this is one of my favourite, favourite, favourite piece =)

Well, I wasted no time getting to the piano and learning as much as I could, definitely. The piece was relatively manageable although the score was 5 page long - well, at least the entire piece contains no black keys (aka sharps and flats).

The beginning of the piece was fairly easy too ... until it comes to the part where it becomes double time and your fingers literally need to move in such a fast motion. WOW, that was what got me - which makes me realized my fingers had kind of "stiffened" =(

Playing classical pieces and playing contemporary music is just so different - in contemporary music (or what we usually play for church worship services, etc) just playing chords or fill-ins will kind of suffice, but classical pieces are different - it requires you to play note for note, and sometimes the composers are so inspired to write the notes in such super fast timing, or scale-like kind of movement (aka moving up and down the scales) that it really test the flexibility of your fingers!!

The entire experience reminded me about how learning an instrument and constantly practicing for it is similar to our intake of the Word of God. If we stop feeding on the Word or we stop doing what God's Word says, then after a while, we will become hardened in our hearts - just like how I felt my fingers "stiffened" because I had stopped playing classical pieces for years!

May we be reminded to always feed on the Living Word and put what we hear into practice as the Lord exhorts us in James 1:22-25 "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does."

Well, I'm still practicing this favorite piece - I'm sure I will be able to play the entire piece one of these days (hey, I'm more than half-way through =) and my "stiffened" fingers will once again become flexible on the keyboard again =)

Haha, what a day ...

Giggle wrote today ...

Hmm... it's an interesting day today ... Oh well, I've kind of "recovered" from my moodiness =) - thanks to those who had sent me messages and encouragements, and of course to God who is ever faithful and patient with me when I'm in my "tantrum" mood towards Him =)

So relax ...
This morning's lesson at theological college was quite light and relaxed - after all the weeks of learning to look at one case study from different perspective, some of which are kind of "over the head" =P For once, my brain wasn't fried =) And it's great to have lecturers who inject humor here and there during lessons, and who's also interactive and willing to receive our "stupid and funny" questions, taking all our nonsenses =P Of course there are also lecturers who are "prim and proper", who makes you "feel" that you need to phrase your questions "theologically", and give "politically correct answers", or otherwise "hold your peace" kind :o) - I guess it's a check and balance and we need a variety of different personality otherwise we might "zao-fan" =)

Then it was chapel after lessons and since I'm on duty every Friday, there's no escape *wink*. Fortunately, my wonderful friend was there on the piano, and me accompanying him on the keyboard. Heehee, with him around, I don't need to fear I can't play or whatever, coz like what he always say "Why worry, I'll cover you." =) Thanks. Whenever he plays, I'll always feel relaxed. *Grin*

So embarassing ...
Well, had to come back to school after lessons at college to attend to CCA. As usual, I park my car at the front gate instead of the back gate since I know that CCA's going to end late and we don't want to hold up the guard at the back gate waiting for us to clear the school. Well, lots in the front gate are all taken up and since we usually double-park each other, that's what I did also - but I remembered checking to see if I will possibly inconvenience anyone before locking the car and moving to my office.

And then, guess what? My colleague from general office was trying to get me on my mobile, and before I could return the missed call, I heard the announcement over the school's PA system, "Ms .... we need you to move your car now as it's blocking a lorry that is trying to get out." Oh my! That was so embarassing - over the PA system and the whole school heard it! =P I immediately hoped there is an underground hole to swallow me up.

Well, the story goes ... as I went to move my car, where's the lorry? No lorry! Apparently it managed to "wriggle" its way out without hitting any vehicle. Mine, it's so embarassing ok. And after that, I had my colleagues teasing me and one male colleague was laughing his head off - and when I met him again at the corridor, we just burst out laughing =)

So sad ...
Then it was time for CCA - we had our prayer meeting and I showed the girls a movie, which my lecturer screened in class some weeks ago. It was a short clip which feature father and son relationship. It was pretty sad - watching how the father agonizes for his son to respond to his love, waiting patiently for his son, cooking meals after meals for his son, hoping his son will take time to speak with him, etc. The only "regret" is that the movie's produced in Hokkien, but fortunately there's English subtitles.

After watching it, the girls all said, "So sad ...", "So poor thing ..." I was hoping that the girls could get the message - not just about parent-children relationship, but also relating the movie to our relationship with God. Thankfully, with some help and prompting, they managed to think and learnt what I hoped they would. I got them to do some reflection and write down what they felt and learnt and challenged them to really put the lessons learnt into application. I sincerely hope that what was learnt will not be forgotten ...

So fun ...
Well, time with the girls are always fun =) They had to sit for a short "test" because of some badgework requirement and after that the older ones helped to mark the scripts of their juniors, plus their own. I was with the older ones guiding them in the marking of the scripts. I know most of them had fun marking - hopefully some will be inspired to be teachers =P And when we needed to wait for one of them to tally and record the marks, we became a bit "bored" that we began telling each other lame jokes, laughing over them, and playing really lame games. But I had fun, and I guess they too =)

God surely know that we need checks and balances in our life - and He has a unique sense of humor too =) Isn't it contrasting between relaxing and embarassing, sad (solemn) and fun? But in everything, God's hand is there, and His presence is there too!

You raise me up

Giggle wrote today ...

Have you heard the song "You raise me up"? It's such a lovely song - reminding us that when we are down, God is always there to lift us up. I guess listening to it lifted my spirit a great deal. If you happen to be down in spirit or there's something bothering you, may you take courage from the words of the song ...

You raise me up (By Brendan Graham and Rolf Lovland)

Verse 1

When I am down and o my soul so weary

When troubles come and my heart burdened be

Then I am still and wait here in the silence

Until You come and sit awhile with me

Chorus

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

And I am strong when I am on Your shoulders

You raise me up to more than I can be

Verse 2

There is no life, no life without its hunger

Each restless heart beats so imperfectly

But when You come and I am filled with wonder

Sometimes I think I glimpse eternity

(From Sheila Walsh's album "You raise me up")

What more need I say? God's inspiration upon the writer of the song speaks for itself already.

Moodiness ...

Giggle wrote today ...

Sigh* these 2 days are real moody days ... I won't call them "bad days" as all the days God has made is good, isn't it? just that things don't usually turn out the way we want or expect and hence, the days becomes "spoilt".

I think hearing a colleague tell you that being in the school and not feeling part of the school ... working hard for the school yet being taken for granted ... having more and more added on to the plate (which some of it are ridiculous things!!) just because this person has proven to be capable, responsible, trustworthy, etc - just makes you feel equally upset along with the person. I can empathize with what has been shared and I hurt with this person too, and I felt my heart sank 1 point ...

The next sinking point was when I felt forced to do something I did not want to - if I can have a choice. But the fact is I've got NO CHOICE! How things will become after this, I really have to leave it into God's hand and His control.

Somehow, some of these "bad" things seem to follow one after another, ya? Imagine the amount of stress I have to handle within a short 1 hour this morning when I went to school before leaving for theological college.

First, today's chapel day and there are going to be 4 sessions running throughout the day! The power point in the hall had tripped and the AVA girls who usually set up the AV equipments before chapel begins just stood there chatting with one another instead of looking for a solution. I don't recall how upset my tone was when I had to tell them "then please go and look for the OM - check with him where's the socket switch and lift it back so that the power supply can come back! How to have the laptop and projector turn on for the worship and message if power source is not there?"

Then, as I was nearing college, a colleague called, "Hey, the speaker's not here yet!" and I had to frantically call the speaker who forgot - I don't totally blame it on this person as I know this person has not been well the past few days and had a rather late meeting the previous night. But what am I to do ??? If I were at chapel, my duty were to immediately take over and ratter something off the calf in relation to the chapel topic - but I'm not there!! I had to tell my colleague, "Can you please conjure up something, anyway today's topic is supposed to be on relationship between parents and children", and MY, I know she was really stressed. Thank you for standing in.

As if these were not enough, another colleague who was supposed to lead worship in the 2nd chapel session smsed me to say she's not well - but I'm not in school to take over your worship!! Oh my, another stressful one. Meanwhile, I'm thankful that the speaker informed me that he'll rush down immediately and be there for the 2nd session. Thanks.

I guess all these are enough to start off the morning, ya? Sigh* one more ok ... got back my one of my assignment today and terribly disappointed with my grades. I passed, no doubt, but for the amount of reading, time and work I've put into, I felt unfair. To make matters worse, a classmate who usually does assignments in the last minute got better grades than me. Well, not that I don't rejoice with the person, I definitely do, but it's not a nice feeling, you know ...

For a moment, I felt that all the hardwork I had put into, all the readings I've done seemed to be so "wasted" and "down the drain". I just don't feel good the rest of the day. I just don't want to talk ... neither do I want to "humour" people by joking with them or smiling ... I'm just very irk and irritated - kind of a volcano awaiting eruption. I don't know how many points my heart has sank already ... I lost count. But I guess in the midst of all these "moodiness", I recall the words of Isaiah "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isa 55:8-9

I still can't understand why things have to happen the way it had, but I know God will not allow anything to happen without reasons or beyond His control. I know there is something I need to learn, and I pray that God will open my eyes to see and ears to hear. Maybe it's not about working hard, but more on working smart ?? Maybe it's to learn to accept everything that happens in the perspective of God instead of men. Well, whatever it is, God will not shortchange me.

If you are reading my blog, I hope you won't be upset or "stumbled" by what I've shared. I guess there's time I need to really be honest with myself and confront my feelings than to hide them. I'm an optimist by nature, but I have my fair share of woes and grouses too.

Poems

Giggle wrote today ...

My HDC agreed to share her poems - thank you =) Anyway, it's a poem on "Good Friday" and "Easter", and not what I've previously mentioned "Good Friday" and "Christmas". She chose to remain annonymous, so I shall respect her wishes but all rights still remain hers as the originator of the 2 poems. Enjoy ...

Good Friday
Why is good Friday good?
It’s not like we can eat plenty of food!
Why can’t it be called sad Friday instead?
After all, Jesus died for our sins with a crown of thorns on His head.
What’s so good about that?
Read John 3:16 my conscience said
Our Savior died ‘cos He loved us
No need to cry, no need to fuss
No, you don’t need a wife –
To have Jesus Christ in your life!
Accept Him now for He has the key
From the chains of death, you’ll be set free
So now you know you don’t need food
To make Good Friday good!
So stop acting cool!
Go spread! That God loves you!

- Written on 22nd March 2005 (Tues) -


Easter Sunday
It’s not Easter bunnies or Easter eggs
It doesn’t concern big feet or long legs
Today is the day!
I give a big whoop and a shout of hooray!
What’s so special? It’s just another Sunday
But it’s all about God’s only way
God sent His Son to die on the cross
No, He didn’t send a donkey, He didn’t send a horse
Christ was crucified, it was finished
On the 3rd day He rose again and appeared first to the ladies
He’s alive! He lives!
If you don’t believe there’s evidence
An empty tomb is left behind
No sign of Jesus or any kind
Christ has won victory! He’s living in my heart!
So start praising Him and give Him a big “Thank-you” hug!

- Written on 24th March 2005 (Thurs) -

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" - Romans 10:14-15

Too much of a good thing???

Giggle wrote today …

The Bible always has words of caution and words of advice for us – even when it seems silent about certain issues which we face in life, that’s always a principle or guideline somewhere which we can follow.

I had too much of a good thing today – sleep. I retired early yesterday night as I was extremely exhausted from all the reading and preparation for a presentation project. I needed the rest after a day of “hard work”, and I deserve more hours of sleep than usual since I’ve got to be in school by 7am everyday, right? – that was how I convinced myself to sleep earlier than usual =)

But too much of a good thing actually turn out bad! What makes me say that? Well, sleeping at 10pm and waking up at 5am should be more than sufficient, right? 7 hours of good rest! However, instead of waking up immediately and refreshed, ready for a new day, I found myself refusing to hop out of bed, and as a result, fell asleep almost immediately again when I should have been up on my feet. When I finally woke up, MY, it was 6.20am! How am I to get to school by 7am, more so when I need to pick up a colleague who stays near me? I had to call her immediately and tell her, “I just woke up! Sorry, you’ve got to make it on your own today.”

Well, I did make it on time to school before assembly begins at 7.25am – thank God. I didn’t know how my speed in preparing myself for school this morning could be so much faster than usual … it’s a miracle really!

Now, what’s the point regarding this whole episode? I begin to recall what Scripture says about having too much of a good thing isn’t a good thing actually – I mean, it didn’t literally mean it that way, but the implication. “If you find honey, eat just enough – too much of it, and you will vomit.” (Prov 25:16). How true, instead of feeling refreshed, I actually felt a bit of headache, from oversleeping I think .. haha.

In the same way, sometimes we have too much of a good thing or enjoyment in our lives that instead of building us up, it becomes destructive. Think about how we end up being a lousy steward of money and time when we seemed to have “too much” of them. For example, when we have “too much” time on hand, we begin telling ourselves, “No hurry in getting the work done, let me just laze around a while, or watch a fair bit of TV, play a little of computer games, etc”. Or perhaps you have too much of attention from someone – from parents, your boss, partner/spouse, etc – they meant well to shower you with care and love, but at times too much of it becomes “stifling” and makes us feel “suffocated”. Well, these illustrations might not the best, but that’s what I can think of for now, at least to make my point =)

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that these things are bad – they are good in themselves but I guess everything’s dependent on the persons who manage them. Whatever the case, let’s learn the principles of management with wisdom from God and His Word.

Airport

Giggle wrote today ...

I love the airport - well, less the teary teary farewell of course, nobody loves it anyway ...

I was at the airport twice within a week - once to send a student who left for further studies and this time round to pick up sis who came back from her business trip.

For a start, I love the drive to the airport ... Oh, the cruise along the expressway which is usually free of traffic - that's a nice and shiok feeling. It feels like the entire road is yours =) I simply love that unrestricted and uninhibited feeling ... *Wink*

Then I love the airport because of its space - especially from the viewing gallery, when you look out to the big space in front where all the aeroplanes are parked, and planes taking off and landing. I can't describe the feeling - but it just gives a very "freed" kind of feeling - no problems seem to matter anymore .... no problems seem to be so BIG anymore ... - that is why airport is usually one of the place I'll go to if I find myself having problems which seemed to overcome me, more than I can overcome them. A trip down would make me feel so much better =) I love that kind of feeling, it just reminds me that my God is so much bigger than my problem, and there is no problem which He doesn't understand and no problem that is too burdensome for Him to handle. The song, "He will carry you" speaks so well of it ...

He will carry you

There is no problem too big God cannot solve it

There is no mountain too tall He cannot move it

There is no storm too dark He cannot calm it

There is no sorrow too deep He cannot soothe it

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

I know my brother that He will carry you

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders

I know my sister that He will carry you

He said, "Come unto me, all who are weary, and I give you rest."

Speaking of finding that rest and comfort in God, that's what He specializes in! God hurts when we hurt, and He longs to get involved in our lives to help us solve any problem, un-entangle any knots, clear any mess. So while we sometimes try to hide in our closet or favourite places to pout and cry over our troubles, remember to allow God to seek us there too - and accept the hand that He extends to help ...

The comforting words of the Lord reminds us, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt 11:28

Do you have problems which you find too heavy to handle? Come to Him who is strong enough to shoulder the weight of the world, and who wants to give you rest from your troubles ...